![]() Cortisol results in all of the symptoms we associate with being “stressed out,” racing heartbeat, sweaty palms, inability to concentrate and more. Their anxiety about their inability to control the problem behavior and its consequences causes stress, raising cortisol levels in the brain. While it’s difficult for many to understand, addicts typically live everyday caught in a downward spiral. “Will my spouse leave me? Could I go to jail? How will I face my friends, co-workers and neighbors – never mind my kids?” Truth equates to public disclosure and the real possibility of embarrassment, ridicule and even rejection. Others deeply fear the consequences of coming clean. In fact, it is really just an elaborately fashioned permission slip to keep gambling. Their self-talk revolves around how they will quickly recoup all losses on this next wager so why upset my spouse right now?” They cling to the misguided, self-deluding belief that one more bet really will be the “big win” that wipes the slate clean. ![]() ![]() Some addicts are convinced that they are just one roll away from redeeming themselves and overcoming their “temporary” mistakes. Even otherwise strong, capable adults can default to this thinking. We lulled ourselves into believing that if we simply close our eyes and pretend HE doesn’t exist, our greatest fears would evaporate. Think of it like the game many of us learned in childhood when we feared the “bogeyman” in the closet. Sometimes addicts remain stuck in denial, unable to admit the true depth and breadth of their problem to anyone, even those they love. Why does someone lie to those they love? Rationales vary - and none of them necessarily excuse the behavior. Sadly, deception constitutes a very real part of the mental health disorder known as addiction, regardless of whether the pathology in question relates to drugs, alcohol, food, sex or betting. In fact, a harsh but commonly repeated question among those dealing with this disease asks, “How do you know an addict is lying?” Answer: “His lips are moving.” Pathological gamblers may lie, cheat and even steal to continue feeding their addiction. Numerous research studies find that spouses of problem gamblers often feel angry, depressed and “distant” from the gambler.” (Journal of Gambling Issues, Issue 31, 2015)Īnd no wonder.
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